Week 7 NFL Picks

Posted by Big Cat on October 21, 2011 Jump To Comments

For all your daily entertainment needs check out TheHotGlove.com . Updated 12-14 times a day.

Halloween season which for me means I will eat anywhere between 10 and 10 million mini candy bars a day. Which is totally cool because they’re mini so they don’t actually count. If you go to the store and buy a full size snickers bar you’re fat and gross and pathetic. BUT, if you eat 20 mini-snickers throughout the day, well then you’re just having a little treat here and there. This is what I’ve told myself and whatever I tell myself is correct. Sidenote – If you come to The Hot Glove in the next 2 weeks and there is nothing there its probably because I got Diabetes and needed to have both of my hands amputated. I wish I was joking.

Denver +1 @ Miami – Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god (Youtube link)

Chicago @ Tampa Bay +1 – Bad Teeth, alcoholism, losing important wars to America, funny accents, acting like pussies during soccer matches, tea, crumpets. I think I got it all. No one out stereotypes the Big Cat.

Washington +2.5 @ Carolina – John Beck, welcome to the big leagues bro. Don’t listen to anyone’s advice about being calm and learning plays. None of that matters. Just make sure your hair looks tight and everything else will fall into place.

Houston @ Tennessee -3 – Terry Bradshaw will be handing out the trophy for Best bald quarterback in the NFL after this game.

Atlanta @ Detroit -3.5 – On Monday I asked who the mystery man who broke up the Jim Schwartz/Jim Harbaugh fight was.

Well, thanks to some loyal THG readers Mystery man has been found. PR director Bob “Robby” Lange. I’d like to think Robby broke up the fight on Sunday. Bob probably does his taxes in mid january, chews flinstones vitamins for his cholesterol, and never jaywalks. Robby on the other hand is a man you do not want to cross.

Anyway, I found Robby’s email address on the 49ers website. Sent him an email letting him now that I was impressed with his work on Sunday. Pretty sure I creeped him out pretty bad.

…

At this point I thought I totally blew it. Robby probably thinks I’m a 21st century buffalo bill or at the bare minimum alicia silverstone from that weird babysitter movie. Way to fuck up your one chance with a celebrity Big Cat. You stupid dumby.

But wait…

I’m BACK. I’m not saying Robby Lange and I are best friends but we totally are.

Sidenote – Calling The Hot Glove a sports blog is like calling Lindsay Lohan an actress. Technically yes, this is a blog and I do write about sports but deep down we all know I’m just a burned out crackhead.

Kansas City +5.5 @ Oakland- Sooooo, potentially two first round picks for a washed up quarterback that was tailgating at USC games just a couple weeks ago? Awkwarddddd

San Diego -2 @ NY Jets +2 – Wait, Rex Ryan offended someone in a press conference? No way. That guy always seemed to keep his emotions in check and never say anything he regrets. Total shocker

Seattle @ Cleveland -3 – 1-0 ON THE BYE WEEK, TIME TO GET THIS 6-10 SEASON BACK ON TRACK !!!!!

Sidenote – I’m sure everyone saw the whole Lebron saying he wanted to play in the NFL and Pete Carroll tweeting back this jersey. Anyway, this perfectly sums up why Pete Carroll is such a successful NFL coach. Its not about winning games and Super Bowls. Studying film and drafting well. Its about making people laugh. Plain and simple.

Pittsburgh -4 @ Arizona – Super Bowl 43 rematch or just two sort of good but really bad teams?

St Louis @ Dallas -13 - Good thing the Rams got Brandon Lloyd. Because a mediocre wide receiver was exactly what this team needed to get over the top.

Green Bay -9 @ Minnesota – So so sad.