Pouring a Tall Glass of SchadenFavre

Posted by Holly Phelps on August 5, 2010   Jump To Comments

On Tuesday, after the news broke from @JuddZulgad that Favre had texted teammates about not coming back to play for the Vikings in 2010, I started writing a post that (like millions of other posts that would sprout within a few hours) had a simple reaction:  On September 9, 2010, when someone else takes the first offensive snap for the Vikings in the opener against New Orleans and Favre’s streak is broken, I’ll believe it…but not a moment before.

Earlier this spring, I was asked to contribute the 2010 opponent previews for the Maple Street Press Packers Annual magazine, a 128-page preview of the Packers 2010 season.  (By the way, if you want gloriously uninterrupted Packers coverage, this should be at the top of your summer reading list.)  In the magazine, I was asked to provide my take on each of the 13 teams the Packers will face this year, identifying key opposing players and obstacles that the Packers must overcome in order to earn a playoff berth.  On the Minnesota Vikings, I wrote the following (mind you, this was submitted to my publisher back on April 1):

After another season ends with a devastating pick, will Favre come back to play again?  While watching the Vikings last year was painful for many Cheeseheads, there may be some comfort in seeing Minnesota become the latest team to spend the summer waiting for smoke signals from Hattiesburg, Miss.

Still, Favre or no Favre, if the Packers want to prove that they belong in the post-season, they must get past the Minnesota Vikings.

At some level, I think we all knew he was coming back for another year.  Why wouldn’t he?  Of course he would try to skip camp.  Of course there would be shenanigans.  Of course Bonita and Brett’s neighbor’s cousin would find themselves some airtime, sharing the intimate details of Brett’s spring/summer training regimen.  Of course.

So, when the initial tweets became a flood of HOMGZ BREAKING NEWS, I checked the calendar.  Last year, he hemmed, hawed, sighed, and stammered, finally deciding on July 28 to say ‘No’ to the Vikings in that gosh wouldn’t that have been somethin’ tone we know so well.  21 days later on August 18, Chilly picked him up from the airport in Minnesota, and the die was cast.  Maybe it’s because he’s already under contract, maybe it’s because he was enjoying watching all the coverage about how reporters all over the country have passed Albert Haynesworth’s conditioning test.  Who knows?  For whatever reason, Brett’s a week behind his media schedule this year, which means I was ready to sit back with some chips and watch the charade until the inevitable day Favre deigned to accept $20 million from the Wilfs and suit up in Winter Park.  (My money would be on August 24.)

As the carnival rolls on, he’s come out on cue and contradicted his own teammates (see Visanthe Shiancoe) by saying, “What, me, make up a decision before Labor Day?  You must be mistaken.”  He had to be giggling when he showed up at Oak Grove high school yesterday to throw passes to teenagers instead of Pro Bowlers.  He must be thrilled to be feted by the national media and wooed on bended knee by the Vikings organization and fanbase (for $16 million guaranteed with $4 million more in incentives).

As a Packer fan, I enjoy the circus with a tall glass of Schadenfreude.  Yesterday, when there were new rumors floating around, I traded a few pun-filled barbs with my sister, and figured out that I don’t just expect Favre to come back, I want him to.

I want him to come back and force the Vikings to pay him an additional $7 million.  I want him to show up and be eviscerated in the public arena for his drama queen attitude and behavior.  I want him (and his rumored Crocs) to become a fixture in the jokes on late-night shows for months.

Mostly, I want him to play for the Vikings so that the Packers can finally beat him, soundly.  Yes, it’s true that the Packers have to get through the Vikings to make the playoffs, and yes it’s true that without Favre, that goal becomes much more attainable.  But I need #4 to be lining up on the field.  Because, if he stays retired, even if he’s relegated to the couch for the next decade, that’s not enough for me.

How are you watching the latest round of Favre-capades? Respond here or shoot me an email at holly@brentfavre.com.  You can also find me on Twitter at @htphelps and during the season at CheeseheadTV’s The Other 31.

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